2021 has already been a reflective year. I thought 2020 was with how much we had to exist with ourselves and for me a lot happened last year, but nothing could have prepared me for my back giving out in 2021. It puts a lot of things in perspective when your body fails you. I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy (though that would require me to get an enemy).
As 2021 moves on, I slowly but surely crawl my way to my 30s. I’ve just turned 29. I got myself a purse that looks like a triceratops because I’m an adult and have been playing video games with friends more than I have in years, but time keeps passing. It keeps me thinking.
I hate the concept of “growing up” because it indicates a strange cut off. It shows we need to stop being childish. We need to stop having things like triceratops purses and playing video games. As writers I don’t think that makes any sense.
Growing up is for suckers and I refuse.
My body definitely isn’t refusing. It’s a constant reminder that I’m getting older. I still have pain from my surgery. I still have found that a lot of my projects are hard to finish because I’m so busy.
But that’s not stopping me. I’m getting into freelance work. I’m joining GTA RP servers (who would have thought) which has helped me flesh out deeper stories for characters and interacting with other people have pushed how dialogue could work in future novels.
I’m reading more and thinking about the future less, because deep down…the future is terrifying. I’m thinking of the now. What can I do now as an author? As a person? As someone who thinks too much?
I’m focusing on what I love, not what I should love.
I’m counting my blessings (as cliched as that sounds). I’m safe. I’m happy. And I still get to explore things and discover how the world ticks.
So yes, I’m slowly inching towards 30 (something terrifying for someone like me), but I won’t focus on that. I’ll focus on creating–because I am a writer.
Let me know in the comments what pieces of wisdom have come to you as you get older. Even if you’re 19 and you look back at things you thought at 15. We are always learning.