After such a rough year (and an even rougher start to this year), I’ve had to sit with my thoughts for a bit. My brain tends to get foggy when overwhelmed and I have to take some time to sit down and think what’s important to me. I only have so many hours in a day while also having a thousand projects and ideas and, of course, responsibilities (gross).
So in the past few weeks I’ve asked myself two things: why do I want to write and why did I start blogging?
It’s been tough to write. The past two years on this blog reflect that. I’ve failed writing challenge after writing challenge. I’ve sort of lost my spark. Assuming I even had a spark. As a teenager I would go to school, do AP assignments, get straight As, and still come home and write 50K in a month every November. It’s less productive now.
This makes me question why I write. Why I blog. This takes up time and energy that I don’t always have. Especially right now. Sometimes my brain isn’t in it. I salute every person with a mental illness or disability that still show up and write. I strive to be like you.
Why I Write
Writing has always been complicated for me. Some times I’m not the best writer. I know that’s not something I should be saying on a blog dedicated to telling you writing tips, but it’s true. Writing has always been a struggle for me. I’ve had to work hard to get to where I am with how I write. My tone, style, skill has all changed because I’ve continued to put the work in. And genuinely, it sometimes does feel like work. I know everyone says if it’s something you love it shouldn’t feel like work. But I love writing. I love story telling. And it all still feels like work.
But I write because I love telling stories. I love what books do to me and to people I know. I watch so many booktube videos of people gushing over their favorite novels and even people hating on their least favorites. All of it feels so good. I write because I have stories to tell, even when my brain is telling me I have nothing. I know they are there somewhere.
Why Do I Blog
I started this blog as a challenge for myself. I wanted to consistently put something out there. I wanted to test marketing ideas and creative ideas. I also wanted to connect with the writing community. I’ve failed many writing challenges even before starting this blog. I wanted something that held me to a higher accountability. I have readers now, even if just a few hundred. You come to my blog and listen to me rant.
This also forced me to research and look closer at my writing and habits. Because of this blog I’m thinking of creating an outline workbook. I’ve learned from so many people and read a thousand articles. I’ve started testing techniques and hope to continue to tell you how they’ve worked for me. I’ve also analyzed how the could work for someone else if they don’t pan out for me.
This blog has made me a better writer and has made me still feel like a writer even when I haven’t finished writing a novel yet.
Because I want to grow. Because I love talking to you in the comments. I love that I’ve made new contacts through this blog. I love the challenge of it. I love that I’ve stuck to it for so long. I love that I’m still learning new things about marketing and advertising which is my field and career.
I will continue this blog. I hope to grow it more this year. I will keep writing even if it’s all crap. I’ll sit myself down and find my passion again.
And I’ll tell you all about it right here.
I thank you for continuing to follow me through this journey. I hope to have many, many self discoveries in the future and I hope they’ll be able to help you. Let me know in the comments below why you write…or if you’ve started a blog. Are you scared to if you haven’t? I’d love to follow your journey too.