Writing Prompt: Character “Dating Profiles”

Preface: I know I totally talked about platonic love last week and said that romantic love wasn’t everything. That still reigns true, but sometimes you get characters that fall in love. It happens.

Second preface: I have been out of the dating game for like 2 years so I don’t understand it anymore. Like legit some of it sounds really confusing. Snapchat likes to tell me about the newest “dating trend” and it scares me. I am a Boomer of the dating age. I don’t even know how Facebook dating works.

That being said.

Tinder profiles are damn near the most hilarious thing and sometimes the most creative. You can say a lot in a very short amount of time. Or not say anything at all. And can make you feel more endeared to a person, fall in love, and move across the state for them. (I say that knowing full well I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s profile was damn sparse).

I don’t fully remember my profile, but I think this comes close.

Hi, I’m [Bee]! I’m tall. I liked to read and write. I get really competitive at board games. My mother wants me to get a boyfriend. I just want someone to buy me video games and call me pretty.

An important note is that my boyfriend has both bought me video games (unprompted, he just wanted to thank me for being so good to him during a rough time) and calls me pretty all the time. So I fulfilled my needs. Ha!

So how about your characters? I’ll give a few small examples of my own.

Analise, 22
Hi, I’m Ana. I teach Taekwondo and probably could probably kick your ass. I spend most of my time working. The rest of my time sleeping. And yes, I’m a little bit of a princess.

Edvin, 33
Edvin. Head of the royal guard. Scared of heights, which is totally rational. Loyal to a fault.

Felicity, 26
FUck.

Alexei, 19
If you see my mom, tell her to stop buying me throw pillows. They can’t fix my shitty apartment.

Prue, 18
Send me n00dles.
No seriously. Please. I’m hungry. I’ve been stuck in this library studying for dayyyys.

Malcolm, 39-ish
Malcolm Solis of Solis Enterprises. I am probably the most handsome motherfucker you’ve ever met. I’m sorry. I’m obliged to tell you it won’t work out between us, but you sure as well can try.

See fun! And sometimes you’re characters will use their character profiles completely incorrect. And that’s perfect! That’s totally in character! You can learn new things about them when you put them in strange situations. Think about what they’d order at a fast food restaurant. Think about what they’d be excited about at Disney World. And most definitely create their dating profile.

It’s fun. It’s harmless. And boy would I love to read some of yours. Drop them in the comments below.

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